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Wednesday, 22 April 2009

Complete set of 20 Flippin' Women' verses

Clickety click, One little duck
You've listened to the lingo
Downing Street, Kelly's Eye
You just love a game of Bingo
The numbers roll out fleetingly
Each one can titilate
So c'mon Mr Caller.....
Shout number Eighty Eight!
Your ready with your dabber
Just one more square to dot
He calls out 'Two Fat Ladies'
You've won the 'Big Jackpot'

© Marjorie Ramsay

Bend those knees
And stretch those thighs
You've heard it all before
And now you've worked a sweat up..
You can't take anymore
But think of how you'll feel
Smarter figure, waist so slender
... and aching joints and limbs
And muscles.....very tender!

© Marjorie Ramsay

Keep fit is on the menu
To get you looking great
Just roll around that great big ball
To help you loose some weight
You've tried the Aqua-aerobics
And now you do Pilates
But that just seems to move the wind
Producing lots of 'farties'!
And when you've finished bending
I'll bet you'll be in stitches
You'll need some thread and needle
To mend those ragged britches!

© Marjorie Ramsay

Relax and put your feet up
Have a well earned cuppa
You've 5 minutes to spare
Before you start the supper
The kids are playing nicely
With crayons and poster paints
But if you could see behind you
'Nice' is what they 'aint!

© Marjorie Ramsay

Bubble Bath
Lie back and feel the pleasure
Of warm soapy water and bubbles
Forget your pressing cares
And recent urgent troubles
But bubbles are not confined to
A nice warm soapy immersion
So raise a glass of 'champers'
A better 'bubbly' version.
Your problems will disperse
Your worries you'll forget
When both outside and inside too
You're bubbly soaking wet!

© Marjorie Ramsay

So you think you are a crafter
Scrapping and making cards
But what some may make look easy
For others can be extremely hard
You can always join a forum
Cos' there you'll learn some skill
Of how to stamp and glitter
And decoupage at your will.
But be careful while you're using
Sticky pads or gum
Or you'll find that misplaced topper
Is sticking to your Bum!

© Marjorie Ramsay

Shake tha 'tush' ..move that rear
Let's see some 'Dirty Dancin'
Move around your handbag
Keep up the strut and prancin'
We've heard of your Fandango
We've seen you do the Conga
But what we want to know
Is ...can you last much longer!
The joint is really jumpin'
There's an awful stench of sweat
Oh no!'ve gone too far now
With a one-legged Pirouette

© Marjorie Ramsay

I hear you're on a diet
To lose a bit of weight
How many times is this
I've counted 'twenty eight'
You've found a healthy eating plan
With cabbage, carrot and plums
Guaranteed to lose you pounds
From your purse.. if not your bum
So keep on counting calories
Don't sin for goodness sake
Don't plough your way through Cadbury's
And bin that choccy cake!

© Marjorie Ramsay

You need more exercise
Your activity level is low
To improve your body shape
You have to get up and go
Activity is a must
Try pilates, yoga or hike
A rowing machine is good
But I recommend...a bike
A one that never leaves
The comfort of your home
So you are always near
The fridge...your 'comfort zone'
No petrol need here
The bike is cheap to run
Just top up very often
With a fresh cream filled choc bun!

© Marjorie Ramsay

If you've got a compulsion
To squander your wealth
You'll not find a cure
On the National Health
If shopping's essential
And spending's a must
And that tin just for saving
Is starting to rust
There is no solution
You're addicted...that's true
So just browse and acquire
And Good Luck to you!

© Marjorie Ramsay

Grab your 'lectric gadget
Tool up with some gear
Now you're ready for action
But are you really, Dear?
Make sure you've read the leaflet
Of how to bolt and drill
To make a hole that's tidy
Not one you have to refill
Can you make a Chamfer
On a piece of wood
Build an Argos flatpack
And make it look real good seem proficient
To fix and mend a room
But what was that I heard then?
A supersonic BOOM!!!

© Marjorie Ramsay

You tender your garden
With such loving care
And care for the plants
And flowers grown there
Your carrots are gems
So big and so lush
But Bugs is in hiding
Behind that wee bush
He'll devour your crops
Without any shame
So you'll have to start planting
All over again!

© Marjorie Ramsay

Your knees are sagging
Your arms are drooped
You've just done the shopping
Now you are 'pooped'
You just wish that someone
Would think of a plan
To feed a full family
Each child and your man
With ease and less effort
More cushy for you
So you could relax
For a minute or two
But wait...there's an answer
Go to WWW dot
Go get online
Book a TESCO free slot

© Marjorie Ramsay

Just sitting in a hammock
Swinging to an' fro
Margarita in your hand
Suntan all aglow
Pleasure is your aim
Relaxation and good cheer
Writing out those postcards
'Wishing You Were Here!'
Having a great time
Soaking up the sun
Making lots of new friends
Having lots of fun!

© Marjorie Ramsay

Another pressing engagement
Taking up your time
You've done the bloomin' washing
And now you have to iron.
So guzzling on some vino
Helps to ease the strain
But have a peek behind you
You'll have to wash AGAIN!!!

© Marjorie Ramsay

Don't do mornings
Not your scene
Roll out of bed
At approx 12.15
Grab a cup of coffee
2 Asprin for your head
Refill up your 'hottie'
And roll back into bed!

© Marjorie Ramsay

Oh my goodness
You've gone pale
Just can't believe
What you read on the scale
How come you weigh so much
Must be sooooooo fat
No...just look behind you
I't's that 'flamin' cat

© Marjorie Ramsay

With your backpack and your map
Walking boots and hiking cap
You look set for a good long trek
Over the dales, river and beck
Up on the hillside, down in the vale
Through all weathers, sunshine and gale.
You seem so happy, a blissful pair
Just you and your little, Teddy Bear!

© Marjorie Ramsay

Over the sticks
Out of town
Riding your pony/horse
Over hill and down
Horsing around
Having such sport
Hoping the poor little fox
Isn't caught
Galloping on
Till the day is done
Both horse and rider
Have had such fun!

© Marjorie Ramsay

Got your knickers in a twist
What a hullaballoo
Don't think practising Yoga
Is something you should do!
Arm outstreched above your head
Touching finger and thumb
One leg twisted round your neck
The other ...up your bum!

© Marjorie Ramsay


  1. thank you for these verses.not bad at making cards but hopeless at verses so once again thank you.debc

  2. thanks for the verses matjie they are great
    so kind of you to do this

  3. Marjie, good to see yur blog and I will definitely join your followers.
    Take care
    Jan M

  4. Hi Marjie
    Great to see your Blog :0) look forward to using some of your verses as and when as they are great.:0)

  5. Thank you for allowing us to share these great verses Marjie.

  6. Great to have the link to your blog Marjie! Just read through your verses - fabulous! Viv xx

  7. Nice to see you Marjie and the verses are fantastic

  8. Thanks for letting us use the verses you write, they are brilliant. I am hopeless for that.


  9. Thanks for the verses Marjie, they are brilliant

  10. Thank you Marjie for the verses.
    Sylv xx

  11. Really pleased to see you've got a blog Marjie. Looks great. Will be following this. Hope you're ok.

    Trace x

  12. Hi Marjie, great to see your blog. Hope you are keeping well. Thanks for the great verses.

    Jackiep (imag-e-nationer)

  13. Hi Marje, just saw the link here from the forum. Great to see you blogging, thanks for sharing your verses they are brilliant, hope you are keeping well

    Chris x

  14. They are great, can't wait for the rest of the mens and the kids
    Carol S

  15. Just caught up with your latest verses Marjie - they're absolutely great. Does this mena you're a clever Bunny (kins)?? Thanx for sharing with us. Pat (nannapat)x

  16. Wow they are brilliant how clever you are..
    Tina x

  17. Hi Marjie

    Thanks for sharing the verses - they are brilliant

    Love Aileen xx

  18. Hi Margie Just popped back and will use your excersise verse on my friends cards Fits the bill perfectly Thanks for Sharing Keep Well

  19. Hi Marj. The verses are great and really good fun. Is it ok to sell the cards for charity using your verses. I have credited you on the bottom of the verse. Can't wait for more! From Crafty One

  20. Hi Marjie, I love making the flippin' cards and your verses give the finishing touch. They are wonderful. Thanks v much for these and your other great verses. Keep up the good work. From

  21. Excellent verses. just what I need

  22. Just popped back to say Thanks for the Bathtime verse perfect for my friends card.

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